London Transport

In Tokyo it is not only accepted, but understood, that many people (not only tourists) are pretty overwhelmed by the metro system. They conveniently provide "fare adjustment" booths at every exit so that if you have inadvertently purchased the wrong ticket or if you want to change your final destination, you simply pay the appropriate upgrade. In sunny London you will be fined on the spot for having the wrong ticket, despite a total lack of any assistance to foreigners in obtaining the correct ticket. Foreign language machines? Don't make me laugh.

London's unhelpfulness and intolerance of any who are not intimately acquainted with their byzantine procedures is legendary; stray over the line into the, ironically named "Congestion Zone" and you will be heavily fined. Below a couple of examples of their helpful, considerate, user-friendly transport facilities, introduced at the same time as the infamous bendy buses which burst into flames at arbitrary intervals (even when not under attack from terrorists) and block just about every junction in the city, all in the cause of easing congestion.

And, unless you have a fetish for burying your nose in a complete stranger's sweaty armpits, don't even think about using the infamous "tube". For some unbeknown reason the operators of this foul institution seem incapable of understanding the fact that several hundred people in a confined space tend to produce heat and, in the absence of air conditioning, a bit of a pong. Despite the fact that numerous third world countries seem to manage perfectly well to cool the passengers on their mass transport system, London continues to bask in its nineteenth century mediocrity.

Actually, avoiding public transport altogether is guaranteed to reduce stress levels, dramatically improve your personal finances and put you closer to the real city. Since deciding to walk everywhere, not only do I tend to arrive on time, but have stumbled upon some unexpectedly interesting bits of London, not to mention losing several kilos and feeling particularly virtuous.